Winter Wonderland?

I remember when I was little and I'd always look forward to snow days and the cold weather that Winter's breath would bring. I'd sit at my window in the morning, staring at the snow, hoping, praying, that the bus wouldn't come that day. Unfortunately, living in Kansas, the gravel roads that were abundant allowed the buses to have increased traction, meaning snow wasn't as big of a problem for them as it would have been in a city. You can imagine my disappointment, then, when schools in more populated areas would be out, but my school wasn't.

I've always loved the winter months, especially when I was younger, having Christmas and then a birthday sixteen days afterward. The idea of throwing snow balls has always appealed to me, but I've never really been able to do it that much. Building a snowman is still a far off dream in my mind, and carving out a snow tunnel is an event that I wish I could find enough snow to start. But despite not being able to do those things, nothing beats gazing over a landscape that's blanketed with snow and ice. Mind you, I don't mean five feet of snow, but a light covering.

I have many fond memories of looking out of the windows at the house I lived at in Kansas and seeing the icicles hanging from trees, appearing finger-like. I can still recall the fresh sheets of powder, hardly an inch disturbed, with a few paths that the resident deer had made. I can still remember going sledding with a few friends, only to be disappointed when the snow melted later that afternoon, but getting excited when the clouds rolled in and offered us another chance to fly down the hills, dodging a few trees and large rocks as we went.

Lately, though, my tolerance for the cold seems to have disappeared. I love the winter months, and what they bring, but I just wish I could have all of that without the temperature being so low. Gone are the days of walking down the road to Justin's house in -3 degree weather, only to find that his parents changed their minds and we'd have to do something at my house, and having to trudge back, through the snow and slick ice. Gone are the days of playing around outside in only a thin jacket, no gloves, no hat, and regular shoes. Gone are the days of taking Trixie outside and throwing snow, in a mockery of a tennis ball, in an attempt to get her to "fetch," for hours upon hours.

I should probably stop using this space heater. It's caused me to have a low tolerance for the weather that I once loved so dearly (and here you thought I was going to have a serious cause for my tolerance to the cold seeming to vanish).

On another note, I am highly excited for the upcoming holidays, and my birthday. Here's hoping one of those goes better than last year, eh?

God Bless,

Mike

Some Fun Stuff

1.Put your MP3/iPod on shuffle.
2. Answer each question with the title of the song that comes up. Don't skip it just because it sounds weird or doesn't make sense.
3.Tag 10 or more other people in this note (to write out one of their own)

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Touch It/Technologic - Daft Punk

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Savior - Skillet

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
In The Light - dc Talk

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Cloud of Witnesses - Mark Schultz

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
You Do All Things Well - Chris Tomlin

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Southern Hospitality - Disciple

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Falling Star - Disciple

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Holiness - SONICFLOOd (Sadly the person I consider my best friend isn't holy in the least)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Safe With You - Skillet

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
I'm Not Alright - Sanctus Real (Amen to that)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Heaven's Joy Awaits - Gaither Vocal Band

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
My Refuge - SONICFLOOd

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Mind's Eye - dc Talk

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Something About Us - Daft Punk (Well at least it's a love song, but I don't think this genre would be particularly fitting for a wedding)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Reached Down - Todd Agnew

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Run Away - Big Dismal (So my hobby is leaving it all behind?)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
On Our Side - Chris Tomlin

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stand To Praise - Aaron Shust

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Sadie Hawkins Dance - Relient K

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Backstabber - Disciple

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Guiding Me Home - Kutless (Now THAT would be odd to regret)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Remembering - Disciple

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Eating Me Away - Skillet

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
You're Everything - David Crowder Band

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Walkie-Talkie Man - Steriogram

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Faust, Midas, and Myself - Switchfoot (Odd. Is the title actually answering the question with names?)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Silent Night - Casting Crowns

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Blood On My Hands - Todd Agnew

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Stars - David Crowder Band

----------

Saw this in Facebook notes, and then on two blogs. Having trouble staying asleep, so I thought I'd pass the time by doing something like this.

God Bless,

Mike

After the loss of four hours of sleep, four (or so) hours of driving, and the creation of a few more inside jokes, I can now look back at convention, rather than look forward to it.

I'll be honest when I say that I don't get a whole lot out of the messages I hear at those things. Sure, I can connect with a few of the speakers, here and there, but, for the most part, the messages are more and more of the same. That's not to say, however, that I don't hear the message and appreciate it. Some of the messages pave the way for powerful altar calls and prayer, and those, of course, are my favorite messages. As one of the songs I just listened to, not five minutes ago, simply states, "There's no other place that I'd rather be than in the arms of my Savior."

I actually thought the theme of this convention, "Extraordinary," was going to be about something completely different than what it was about. Sure, the line that I expected to hear, "We serve an extraordinary God," was in there, but the extraordinary part came about in the sense that we are all ordinary, yet God puts the extra in extraordinary. Rick Lorimer used a lot of comparison to the universe, on the first day. In my notes, I have, "We're inconsequential to the Universe, yet we're of the utmost importance to God."

A being that can speak and the stars and planets come flying from His mouth cares about us, beings that are smaller than a pin-point, when put in perspective of the Universe. Yeah, I've heard it before, worded in different ways, but the way it was used was, in my opinion... well... cool.

There was an altar call, that night, for those that were serving God, but not the way they should. One of the youth stood up, and, at first, I was simply going to go with him to support and pray with him. As I hopped over the pew, I suddenly felt this load hit me, and heard someone say, "You need to be down there, too." I love it when I feel and hear God, like that, even if it isn't always for Him to say something like, "Well done."

The second day included a nice proclamation of "Today is a good day to die," but that wasn't until the end. The first meeting was a message about how God has an impression on our past, works in our present, then deals with our potential. All of this was backed by John 4, where Jesus spoke with a Samaritan woman.

The second meeting turned each and every youth into their own alabaster jar, full of perfume. No two of us are the same, and, in order to get the "good stuff" out, we have to be broken. God will break us and our talents and abilities will be poured out. Others will call it a waste, while God will simply call it worship (see Matthew 14:3-9). Not long after he finished with the illustration, he said this line: "If you're really on fire for Jesus, you don't run from the battle, you run to it," which was followed closely by him asking us, if we were serious, to shout out, "It's a good day to die," before getting up for one final music-worship set/prayer session.

The prayer services and music-sets that are played are what draw me closer to God than the services. Sure, the alabaster jar illustration was a great illustration, and one of those, "Wow this sets this whole service up for the perfect altar call," feelings, but even that doesn't ever give me as much as simply raising my hands, in complete silence, as a gesture of worship. I love altar calls, even if I don't respond to them, just for the atmosphere and the presence of God in the room. I love the passion behind the music, and how much fun the musicians have when they play.

I guess all of it excites me, since it makes me wonder exactly what I'm going to be doing with the ministries that God is going to pave the way for me to participate in. I know the group my ministries will focus on, but not what I will be doing. So, for now, I'm doing what I feel He's leading me to do, and that is praying and waiting on Him.

I really need to get some sleep. I tried to give this post more structure than it has, but I'm unable to think completely clearly since somebody got me sick during convention. Ah well.

God bless,

Mike

Studying is fun!

I do this from time to time--sit up all night studying things. The one thing I hate about the nights that I choose to do this, though, is the fact that I can't stand having silence for too long... especially if a link on an internet page I'm reading leads me to a creepy looking page or something. There's just something unsettling about reading about some despicable act, or demons, or something supernatural, real or not, at four in the morning. Hahaha

Due to never wanting to have silence, I turn to listening to my older, more familiar CDs, since they keep me awake (not that I have trouble staying awake anyway, since it's getting to sleep that I have a problem with). Consequently, though, in the small breaks I take to think about what I had just read or to reflect on a video I had just watched, or even to relate things to my life, these old CDs sometimes cause me to reflect on the past.

I wonder... is it strange that I feel like I keep too much of my past a secret from everyone? More than once I've caught myself saying the line, "...but I don't want to dig that up," or something similar, when I mention something about certain subjects, one such being love.

I guess, sometimes, I want to tell people what I've experienced. I want people to know that I know more than I let on, at times, but I act like too much of a goof for people to always take me seriously. Instead of sharing my knowledge on certain subjects, sometimes I'll leave it at an ill-placed, unfunny joke (rarely it'll be a funny joke, but that's beyond the point). Maybe I focus too much on the times that I don't answer, than the times that I do.

Eh... I don't know. All I know is that certain songs seem to trigger an emotional response in me that causes me to reflect on my past and make me wish that I would share it with people more often. It also causes me to overthink subjects, such as, "Am I too secretive?" Ironically, one night I spent a good hour overthinking the subject, "Do I think too much?" My conclusion? After a whole hour of overthinking the subject and finding myself going off on tangent after tangent, I concluded, "No, I don't overthink subjects. I just think of fifteen at once."

I suppose it's not all bad, though. Overthinking has become an art, for me, and I find myself doing fifteen minutes worth of thinking in a split second now.

Back on the subject of studying, though, sometimes I want to look into this phenomena known as "coincidence." I found it very odd that the day after I went through and deleted very personal blog posts, people I knew found this blog. I have no idea if they had read said blog posts before then or not, and if they did, I don't mind, but it was still strange. I guess studying up on that would only lead me to the conclusion of, "Luck or God," and I wouldn't be as satisfied as I would want to be.

Anyway, back to my night of study! I chose tonight for the simple fact that I got too much sleep last night (waking up at 1 PM is not something I enjoy), and I need to get my sleep schedule normalized again. I suppose that's what I get for taking medicine with a drowsiness effect in it, since that happens to hit me rather hard. Oh well.

God Bless,

Mike

Ba dum da dum...

I've realized, lately, that it seems like God has carried my talents along, for me, even when I'm out of practice. Ever since I realized that God had musical plans for my life, everything has slowly fallen into place, instruments have been gifted to me, people with musical talents have entered my life and either stayed or exited, leaving me with more knowledge, even if they weren't particularly knowledgeable or skilled in music.

I remember when I was fifteen and part of the Marysville, Kansas, youth group (the church I was going to in Junction City (an hour and fifteen minutes away) didn't have a youth group at the time), my pastor, BJ, had asked a question, as homework: "What verse of the Bible describes the plan God has for your life?" For some reason, the word "song" was implanted into my mind and wouldn't go away. Now, looking back, I realize that BJ didn't have any plans for us to actually talk about the verses that we picked out. It was purely for us to reflect on our lives, spend time in prayer, and have God talk to us about the plans He had for our lives.

Keep in mind, at this point I had very little interest in playing music. I had interest in listening, but I had no desire to learn an instrument, except to look cool. That's the wrong mindset to have when you try to learn an instrument, since it takes passion to play music effectively, to convey the emtion of the piece, and to have people understand the meaning.

I went home, the word "song" in mind, and talked to mom about the homework assignment and the word I heard. I believe we looked at three verses within the Bible that had to do with song, and nearly every single one had to do with praise. I actually found it funny, since a praise CD is what got me interested in "Christian" music, praise CDs are what I most listen to now, and praise music is pretty much all I play(ed). After the week had passed, and, I'll be honest, I didn't pray about it as much as mom said I should, I was concrete in my belief that God had something to do with the word "song" and praise in my future.

Fast forward to the beginning of my sophomore year: I had signed up for "guitar," and "advanced guitar," and was looking forward to having a great year learning the instrument. Mom had given me my grandpa's old hollow body (he had died the summer of my thirteenth year) and I had no idea how to play the thing. I could tune it with a tuner, and mom had tried to teach me a few simple chords, but other than that, I was only able to randomly strum the strings and hope it sounded halfway decent (it never did). Sadly, I missed out on the advanced guitar class, since it was only offered first semester, and the beginning guitar class was only offered second semester. Upsetting. I finished out that year of school, learning the basic of the basics on the guitar, and feeling pretty good about myself.

Throughout the summer of that year, I rarely played my guitar for very long. My fingers still hadn't adjusted, and I wasn't ready to do much with it. I took part in a worship workshop at camp, that year, and learned quite a bit about effective ways to choose worship songs. Unable to put it into practice, however, I was left high and dry, holding onto this knowledge, waiting for my chance to use it.

Junior and Senior years were when the doors to actually lead worship were opened for me. My junior year, I didn't take the advanced guitar class, since I had to get my technology credits out of the way. I took half of a schedule of math and computer classes (to get math out of the way, as well), and wound up not having room for advanced guitar. Instead, I started leading worship for my old youth group, but I was severely inexperienced. I didn't do popular songs, easy to learn songs, or even songs in the same key. Mom just told me to have fun with it and gave me a few tips here and there. Eventually, however, I joined the main church worship team, playing the bass. Oddly enough, I had received a bass as a late sixteenth birthday present from some guy at mom's work, which was absolutely amazing. I have never even met the guy, though.

The actual game changer, for me, had nothing to do with learning an instrument or leading worship, however. It was in the fall/winter of my junior year. I had gone to a women's meeting with my mom to help with with worship and they had some (I think) Russian lady there as a special guest. She spoke for a little bit, and then she started prophesying over each of us, individually, as God told her to (as in, not over every single person). While she was speaking between the person before me and me, I suddenly started bawling. There was such a huge presence of God in that room, like I had never felt before. It felt like I could reach out and touch His face! She called me up to the front of the room, then spoke over me. I learned quite a bit about what it was God wanted for my life, what I was anointed to do, that I will be going into seven different nations, and even things about the woman I will one day marry. The final thing she did was put a cloth on me and told me that she was putting the prophetic mantle on me and that I need to get ready, get ready, get ready.

Ever since that day, and the day God confirmed to me that it was true and from Him, I've been on a wild ride, with God preparing me for the things that He has set aside for me to do. Of course, the hardest part was when I realized that God was telling me to get away from my then-girlfriend, Amanda, and other friends and groups, and I didn't get away from all of them, which held me down for a good nine months (no joke).

After the year I've spent in Iowa, I've learned so much more about how to lead worship effectively. I've had ups and downs, been a jerk to people, walked away from God, gone back to some of my old, non-christian ways, rededicated to Him, fixed my life up, and gotten myself back to being the real me. Despite the lack of experience in worship music that I had before I came down here, God has opened the door for me to rapidly learn and prepare for what He has in store for me, down the road. I still wonder where He has me going, and sometimes I worry about messing up, but I know that He has me here for a reason, and if I just keep letting Him guide me, I'll get to where I'm supposed to be, one day.

I'm hoping the presidential debate will rerun on Fox News sometime soon. It usually does by now.

God Bless,

Mike